OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
