I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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