we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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