WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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