The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
