I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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