Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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