so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
