Sry I called you an 8
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
