Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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