Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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