I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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