I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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