Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
