you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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