I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Too much gin, very little bucket
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
