If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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