My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
