We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
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did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
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I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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