Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Holy sore nipples Batman
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
