Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
