I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
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Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
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I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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