the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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