thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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