the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
