Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
dude. I can hear the air.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
