so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
