Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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