Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
