I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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