Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
