C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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