Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
