I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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