I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
