Christians are straight up FREAKS
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I licked your asshole in confidence.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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