me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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