Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
