I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
