she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
