Whod you bang
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
