you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
