just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize