the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I need to stop coming to work sober
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
