grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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