This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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