R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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