You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
and you fell through a lawn chair
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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