just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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