Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
