Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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