I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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