literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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