i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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