she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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